The Coffee House Philosopher

Ah, to be back in the old classroom again, listening to old Professor Droning Onanon explaining some of the finer points of western civilization – occasionally referencing an ancient Greek teacher and philosopher named “Socrates” [470 BC - 399 BC.] Such titillating subjects have been putting Western Civ students in American universities to sleep for many generations.

For those of you that might have missed these less than vibrantly interesting lectures, ancient Greece was well populated with free thinkers, and they kind of invented the democratic form of government. They thought democracy was a pretty good thing that ought to be shared with the rest of the world, and started spreading the word by forming colonies in foreign lands.

Some of these colonies were located in areas ruled by ancient superpower Persia, and the colonies began to complain to their mother country of Greece that things weren’t quite in line with proper Greek thinking. Eventually the complaints became more serious, and the colonies asked for military intervention. The city state of Athens made the mistake of sending troops to aid their colonies, and consequently Persia resolved to get even.

On several occasions, huge Persian armies invaded Greece as retribution for aiding revolts in western Persian colonies on the Turkish mainland. As a result of some of the fighting, Athens was burned to the ground. (Surely you saw that one coming.) And at such major battles as Thermopylae, Marathon, and Plataea, Greek armies fought the much larger Persian forces, and in the latter two battles, soundly defeated them.

At Plataea in particular, a much smaller Greek force, composed solely of foot soldiers, defeated a much larger Persian army composed of a complex variety of foot soldiers, two types of archers, plus mounted cavalry. In the battle, the Persians received such a bloody nose that they never again tried to invade Greece. Thus in such a fashion did such a western idea as democracy manage to flourish and survive to today.

During this period, Socrates was a decorated Greek army veteran. He also gained fame as a philosopher and teacher of ethics. Among some of his more famous students were Plato and Xenophon – names about which non-history students are only vaguely familiar. This is likely because during required courses, students are often “catching up on some Zs” while such names are mentioned.

Just in case you missed the salient points of Professor Droning Onanon’s lecture, (a tardy spoiler alert), Socrates was eventually: (1) accused of corrupting the minds of youth, and (2) not believing in the Greek gods. Consequently, to avoid prosecution, he “did himself in” by swallowing a poison composed largely of hemlock. Thus in such a manner, Socrates died thousands of years ago.

(Next time, using the “Socratic Method of Teaching” in modern schools.)